When it comes to following doctors’ orders, I’m not the best patient. “Take it easy for two weeks, no exercise, no movement just stick to bedrest.” I can’t say I followed those orders religiously at all. Two days after surgery I met a chick on bumble and decided what the hell I can wing this! When you are smoking a bowl and kissing a pretty girl on the intercoastal of Miami, pain and discomfort don’t even begin to cross your mind. I enjoy pushing my limits. I want to know how far I can go and where the point is that I draw the line. (I don’t think there is anything more in the moment then not thinking of the future and enjoying the present.)
Since I decided to avoid bed rest, there definitely was a good bout with pain and discomfort. I couldn’t resort to exercise for mental, physical, and emotional well-being, so all I could turn to was my diet. I thought that part would be easy. I had plenty of nutritious food that pertained to my diet; high fat and low carb. I never thought that a lack of exercise coupled with being dispirited about my surroundings and health could enhance an appetite for sugar and fatty foods. It wasn’t extreme but I did have a few more cheat meals then if I had been in my normal routine.
Being out of your comfort zone allows you to gain a whole new perspective. I had been injured before and limited in my function but definitely not to the state I was in after this surgery. The road to recovery takes a toll and the journey to return to your workout results or even normal routine can be challenging. This quote I heard from the Duncan Trussell Family Hour finally came into perspective for me,
Could I be happy lying around the house stuck in bed? Could I find different outlets then my normal means? And if I didn’t would I be happy with whatever I was doing? Can I be happy without doing the things that I am best at?
Although at this moment I am cleared for normal function, my normal isn’t everyone else’s normal. This past Wednesday I returned to my weekly evening activity of 11vs11 soccer. I thought I would may lose form. Alas, I was flawless and covering swaths of ground. The next day at work I even dunked a basketball a few times. No matter how much I thought laying low and doing nothing would hinder my physical ability or performance, it didn’t affect it much at all.
Now that I am able to run around again, I still can’t help but ask myself the Duncan Trussel question above. Conclusion: it’s not about expectations, reaching goals, or what others think; it is simply to love myself. For two weeks I was working myself up over something that may never be. As I write this I’m laughing at my monkey mind and how conveniently it is distracted from blessings and gifts bestowed upon it. Its moments like these self-reflections that help make me a more loving not just the rest of the world but more importantly to myself.